Homeland

Just for being an Australian I got a day off yesterday. Thank you Australia. You really are quite awesome, except when you are assaulting Indian students on the way home, keeping refugees locked up and other ghastly acts including the one that got us the day off in the first place. But a day off for no reason other than some white bloke sailed across the world and bumped into us is alright by me. In fact it is better than that. It is very AUSTRALIAN. Which is important. It is normal to be Australian. It is absolutely the deep pits of satanic behaviour to be Un-Australian. The goal posts on where Australian and UnAustralian live change by the second and it is quite possible that I am being UnAustralian at this very minute and have no idea. An example: Eating lamb is Australian but eating Kangaroo is still a bit weird and while probably not UnAustralian, is very close to it. I eat both lamb and kangaroo so I'm very much a fence sitter. I know. The confusion reigns supreme. I have never draped myself in an Australian flag - very UnAustralian but I have never dispossessed someone of their land either - Used to be extremely Australian and now it's UnAustralian. Well, sort of. You see the problem?

I celebrated being Australian by writing and then eating Italian which puts me firmly in the Un-Australian but it beat being at the day job. Day jobs should be unconstitutional. Which is a bloody Australian thing to say.