This is what I would like to do with my phone. I won't, but I would really like to. It's bad enough that I get spam on my email account - I swear to god I am known to every Nigerian scammer and if I added it all up I would be a gazillionaire by now, that's right they would have to invent monetary terms for me. Bill Gates would look like a beggar in the street compared to my bottomless money pit. And now the scammers have decided to give me even more money because really is there such a thing as too many private islands? Too many houses, cars, planes, small dogs I can fit in my handbag and leave my gazillions to in my will? No. Of course there is not. If you think there is then you must be one of those pinky, lefty, bleeding heart do-gooders. Yes. Hang your head in shame. You're not getting a cent of my gazillions. (PS Say that word out loud - hours of fun)
I got a message on my phone last night saying that I had won $2million in a mobile phone lottery. Can you believe it? My luck is red hot. That Midas chap looks like a fairly average bloke, statistically speaking, compared to me. Apparently all I have to do is send my details including bank account (NATCH! How else are they going to give me my gazillions? Don't shake your head at me in pity. You are the ones that have trust issues.) and the bounty is mine. All mine!
Nigeria? If Angelina Jolie hadn't adopted a child from your country, you would have nothing. Seriously. Take a long hard look at yourselves.
Rant ... over.
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