Sound the trumpets. Dust off the costumes for the parade. Start tearing the paper for the ticker tape parade. Because she's HOME! Yeah, she really is. It's no joke. I wouldn't joke about something that serious. Me? You think I go around joking about Me? You people have issues.
Let's move on.
I'm back from the theatre Mecca of the known universe. That's right, New Zealand. JOKE! She spent too long on a plane but she still hasn't lost it. I know, New Zealand. As if. It's hilarious. I know. I'll give you a moment to recover.
Okay, are we ready?
The Mecca of Hobbit-lovers and sheep fuckers perhaps. Oh no, she didn't. She did NOT go there. That girl is on fire! FIRE!
Okay. Enough of that. Calm down Kiwis, I really do love you all … They are seriously the most gullible people in the entire universe. I'M KIDDING!
Okay, I'm really moving on this time.
I'm back. NYC is amazing. Things have changed. Hang around, and you'll find out what.
PS Nice to be back.
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