More work

Things that annoy me about working people:

1. That they work.

2. They like work so much that they invent reasons to keep staying at work. I've been back at this day job for 4 weeks and I have already got 3 invites for drinks, a dinner, a lunch, a chance to spend my lunch hour watching the firm's netball team in the grand final and an end of financial year party. I mean, go home. Seriously. Even whole DVD sets of The Jersey Shore is better than eating canapés with each other. [## This is not a scientific fact, but am I right?]

3. They talk about how all the horrible, mundane things that they are forced to do on a daily basis are "well, okay, really, when you compare it to ..." but never quite seem to finish that sentence.

4. They tend to laugh at things that just aren't funny. "Remember that contract? Yeah? With the ... I KNOW! Hilarious, right?" No Sir, go to your room and look up the meaning of hilarious.

5. That they turn up each and every fucking Monday morning with clean underwear and brushed hair. I seriously don't know how they do it.

Bright side

It's so nice when I come back to previous temp jobs. All the sweet, smiling faces asking me how I am, and what I've been up to, and what other law firms I've been to, and what gossip I have for them. There's presents, and free coffees, and ... No. Wait. None of those things happen. You get back, someone points vaguely to a spare desk that is buckling under the weight of piles of work labelled "Stuff that is too hard/too boring/too stupid for me to deal with so let's leave it for the Temp" and they all have a look on their face of "JUST GET ON WITH IT ... Please". I imagine the Please because I don't want to fully give in to my cyncism. This return to former day job has had the added bonus of giving me the flu. I know. How can I ever repay them? I'm thinking of letting the flu develop into pneumonia just so I can pass it back to them. Genius.

In other news ... my partner woke up in the middle of the night last night and yelled out "WHAT ABOUT THE GERBILS?" No. I have no idea either.

Don't bother

And just like that, back to the day job. Hopefully (and I say this with everything crossed including a few internal organs which is very, very painful but shows my utter commitment to this being true), this is going to be the last one for a while, but it's only one week in and already I'm hiding the sharp knives. I don't have a clue how people do this for their entire lives. Really. I don't get it. If someone wants to explain it to me, then ... actually, don't bother. I'll find the sharp knives I've hidden faster than you can convince me that being here until I shuffle off to the retirement home is a good thing.

Have to go. File something. Look like I’m working while trying to figure out Scene Three of my new play. Googling writers who are more productive than I am and beating myself up for not being more like them. File something else. Try and kill myself with a papercut from my filing. Walk around the block while convincing myself that death by papercut is not the way I should go. Practice my smile when someone calls playwriting 'a wonderful hobby'. Some combination of the above. Welcome to my days.

Random

1. I almost got sprung doing something bad this morning, but I was swift with my coverup and got away with it.
   

   
    

2. I wrote 27 pages yesterday in some sort of public holiday frenzy. Everything I write now, I can't stop thinking 'Is this too much like New Light Shine?' and then I have to tell myself 'Fuck it."
   

   Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it …
   

   
    

3. I have too many books. Please, let no more bookchains go down the gurgler. I can't afford any more sales.
   

   
    

4. I started writing a novel. And then I started writing more of it.
   

   
    

5. I haven't written as much today. 8 pages on one thing, and a 4 page play about pills. It's a random sort of day.
   

   
    

6. I'm thinking of buying a dog with my prize money.
   

Dreams

You know, when I'm at the soul sucking day job, all I dream about is the hours and hours I'm going to have for myself when I'm at home writing. I see myself sitting at my desk just churning out page after page of incredible, awe-inspiring dialogue. The truth is … well, I sit at my desk, and at some point usually about the time the sun goes down, I think it's probably time to get out of my pyjamas – or at least wash my face and I look at the pages that I have written and call them every name under the sun and usually put them into a file that I then go into the backyard and bury so they will never see the light of day EVER AGAIN. Then I start drinking. Yep. Living the dream.

Movies

One of the great things about not working at soul sucking day job is cheap Monday movies – I know I've mentioned it before but $6 movies on Lygon Street – you really cannot be asking for more than that. That makes you a greedy guts and you should be ashamed of yourself. Go and sit in the corner until you can appreciate the wonder and glory that is $6 movies on Lygon Street.

Right. Where was I?

MOVIES!

Well, I went and saw Snowtown today. Yeah, the one that Richard Wilkins called depraved and gave no stars and said he took one for the team by going to see it so we all wouldn't have to. And then twitter went a bit mad with him and everyone was either pro-Snowtown or anti-Snowtown. So, I went to see that.

Oh, you want to know what I think?

Snowtown is a devastating, poetic examination of a period in Australian history that has never been widely discussed, that we prefer to think is a freak occurrence that will never happen again, but could so easily, because this happened so easily. The acting, the writing, the directing, the slow deliberate camera that makes us keep watching, that forces us to confront every detail of this horrific story, are all carefully considered and of the highest order. Richard Wilkins, you should be ashamed of yourself for so wildly missing the point of this film and the Snowtown boys and girls should pat yourselves on the back. You are exactly the kind of filmmakers this country needs. And I only looked away twice. I think I did pretty well.

Back

So, I go and one little award and then I forget the blog that got me there. Well, not quite, and a soul-sucking day job rather than winning an award has been the main cause of not being able to finger to laptop and speak to my adoring fans … You are all still out there aren't you? Oh good. I was concerned there for a while. But soul-sucking temp day job is over and while it possibly the most exhausting job I've ever done I will actually miss my little gaggle of assistants. I'm thinking we should all go form a dancing troupe and leave the glamour of the law behind us. I'll work on this.

So, I'm back.