Tips for Playwrights

1. Don't go see your work. It sounds like a good idea but it's really not. If you do go see your work, make sure that there is someone with you who will take you out afterwards and feed you whiskey and lovingly smile and nod when you declare you are quitting theatre.
   

Monologue

Just so you all don't think I'm dead (I'm not dead, I'm writing a screenplay which is kind of like death but hopefully more profitable) here's something I'm in:

http://maydayplaywrightsfestival.com/

My little monologue about a 15 year old girl who says cunt a lot (okay, well twice, but still. I didn't say cunt until I was like 21. I didn't think I was allowed. But all the girls are saying it now. As am I. Cunt.) is opening tonight! In Sydney! I will be there tomorrow night so come along and buy me a drink. Or say cunt to me. Whatever works for you.

CANADA!

Fancy a trip to Canada? Sure you do. Want to go not this weekend but next weekend? I know. It’s like I know you better than you know yourself. Well, pack your bags and probably a thick coat and one of those hats that make you look like a Russian gangster and get thyself to Ontario for She Speaks, two nights of women’s writing to support International Women’s Day.

It’s run by one of those fabulous theatre women who seems to not need sleep and survive solely on working harder than a gaggle of Egyptian slaves. I wish I was one of those women. I need wine, chocolate and the thrice daily reassurance from a large group of people that I am not going to die alone, left to rot and/or get eaten by my cat. And that’s before I even think about doing any work.

So go see She Speaks if you are near Ontario. It has my play After Midnight, Before Dawn in it and other awesome things. I know. I think someone should really give me a job in publicity too.

Making my day

Take what you want from this, but to the person who googled 'old cunt fucking' and got to my blog, god bless you. You will die alone and miserable, but you cheered up my day.